lol ok I thought of something to type, kind of.
First of all, I made a header, it's pretty, and will probably stay there for a long time.
Seeing as I recently got a new boyfriend(and he's lovely btw <3 ) I was thinking it might be appropriate to write up a
small massive blog about my past boyfriends and such.
My first relationship was actually with a girl named Bonnie, if you can even call it a relationship. She'd recently broke up with her boyfriend of three years, and was on the rebound(this isn't something I realised at the time). Her ex boyfriend was a guy in our friends group at school called Montaro(his actual name was Dylan, but we already had a Dylan). Because he hung out with the same friends as us, I was a good friend to Bonnie and kept her company while she shunned herself from the rest of our group until she'd got over the pain of the split up.At the time I didn't know that Bonnie was bi curious, I didn't even really know that I was, but I'll try anything once.
So after we'd spent like two months hanging out just by ourselves, she kind of asked me out. Earlier on that week she'd been complaining that when she asked people out they never said yes, or they just never answered. She was feeling pretty low about her self, and I'd been writing her notes in class and stuff, trying to cheer her up. A lot of them were pretty pictures and bubble writing about things I liked about her. I guess it just gave her the vibe that I was crushing on her lol.
It was lunch time and she was lying in the grass with her head on my lap, I was very carefully trying to move my leg around without disturbing her because my foot had gone to sleep, but I hadn't the heart to tell her that.
Bonnie: Angie, can I ask you a question?
Me: Sure darlin, what's up?
Bonnie: Never mind, you won't say yes, nobody ever says yes.
Me(kind of getting the hint at what she meant) : You don't know that, you should ask anyway.
Though the conversation died after that, and I honestly don't remember her actually asking me out properly.
But over the next month or so, she was very cuddly toward me, and my friend Matt kept teasing me about how I was a lemon now, even though him and our friend Rusty(actual name Stephen) were always touching each other, he was probably a closet gay himself.
I got rather attached to Bonnie. I had fallen for her. She knew everything about me, and I thought I knew everything about her. Our relationship hit it's first bump when I found out that she'd been secretly going to Montaro's house for booty calls. I forgave her immediately though.
We'd been together about 4 months when one day, over lunch at McDonalds (this was before I was vegetarian), she asked if I'd go camping with her and her family for 4 weeks up at Port Elliot. I was a bit worried about going. I'd be alone in a tent with her for a few weeks. It had a possibility that stuff, yes
stuff might happen, and I wasn't sure if I was ready for that sort of human contact. Out of pure peer pressure I agreed to go with her.
It was about three days into the trip and we were standing up on a cliff just talking and stuff, and I'm not even sure how it happened exactly, but she broke up with me. All I remember is bursting into tears, and at some point I ran away down to this seat/picnic table thing and started clawing my arm because I was just really pissed off, and I couldn't work out how I was going to deal with being with her for three-ish more weeks when I wanted to hate her at that moment. She ended up following me down to the picnic table and sitting with me.
The worst part is she actually somehow managed to guilt trip me about feeling angry at her for inviting me out on a four week trip and then dumping me at the start of it. So I ended up having to stay, and not only that she vented at me about how she'd never had a best friend before, and how she felt like she was only able to get close to people by dating them. It almost seemed like a trap. Thinking back, maybe it was.
So we decided to be best friends.
The next person I dated was a guy that had a crush on Bonnie. His name was also Dylan, go figure. He used to send her emails and stuff and he'd never really talked to me at all ever. Ok, yeah actually he talked to me a couple of times because we both liked anime, and I can draw and he can't.
Eventually, I got set up with Dylan by Bonnie. I believe her exact words were something like "What have you got to lose, Angie? It's not like anyone else is interested in you" (ouch)
Because she was my best friend forever, and I trusted her judgement, I agreed to dating Dylan.
Dating Dylan was kinda awesome. He had no fashion sense, but he was pretty fit, and I loved his body,(oh my yes) he gave me tons of presents, and he would pay for everything for me. He'd take me to movies and the city, we'd spend hours watching anime and playing video games together, it was beautiful. After three weeks of dating I'd even given him my virginity(lol yes that was quick, I do agree I should have waited longer). But I knew he still had a bit of a thing for Bonnie, which was funny cuz I kind of did too. Sometimes we'd have these awkward conversations about how cute Bonnie was, and I really have no idea where we'd even go with a conversation like that. It always ended up in us reading porn together and then having sex.
At about week five of our relationship, he'd become really clingy. I was getting irritated at him being around me all the time, and tried to give off several subtle signals that I wanted some space. He didn't pick up on these signals at all. Being the angry teenager I was, I decided to give him the cold shoulder for half a day or so, and hoped he'd get the hint.
The next day we sat down and had a talk which involved me explaining that I needed some air to breath, that our relationship shouldn't be taken too seriously because we were teenagers, and after highschool ended that I probably wouldn't keep up the relationship with him. I was a bit harsh, I guess.
A few days later Bonnie was sleeping over my house, we'd stayed up most of the night chatting and drinking, so the next morning wasn't pretty. I was awoken by a text from Dylan asking if I wanted to come over and watch him play Disgaea. I texted back saying that I'd love to, and that Bonnie would be tagging along.
When we got there he was already playing. Dylan lived in this sort of shed in the back of his mother's house. I'd always thought it was pretty wicked, and it guaranteed us privacy. I held the sheets aside for Bonnie to go in, then followed behind her. Dylan let us in and I took my shoes off and sat on the bed. I didn't hug him cuz I knew he hated being hugged while playing, it threw off his focus(and if you've ever played disgaea you'll know that you don't really need much focus to play it, but I accepted it as an excuse anyway). Bonnie was sitting on the edge of the bed. I could tell she felt awkward, especially since I had told her while we were drunk that Dylan still had a thing for her, she had also told me that if he wasn't dating me she'd totally go for him.
I didn't want to leave her alone with him, mostly due to her awkwardness, and kind of due to the fact that I didn't trust either of them not to start touching each other, but I really had to pee, and eventually I had to
succumb to my bodies needs.
When I came back Dylan was crying.
I was totally confused and rushed to his side to offer him comfort.
He very polity asked if he could be left alone with Bonnie for a while.
I nodded, and left the room feeling quite befuddled as to what was actually happening.
After say.. 20 minutes, I began to get uneasy, I knew something was up. And looking back it seemed pretty obvious as to what it was. Another ten minutes passed and I decided I was going to go home and just leave them to make out together, and I hated them, and they could die for all I cared, I was going home. Fuck them.
Too bad I'd left my shoes in his shed/bedroom thing.
I had to go in there.
At first I decided I would be sneaky. The plan was to creep in, grab the shoes, and creep out. They'd never know I was there, I am a ninja after all.
It's a shame the door to the shed was so squeaky, they stopped making out and noticed me instantly.
Suddenly I was filled with rage, I didn't even manage to yell at them though. I wanted to
RIP THEIR FUCKING THROATS OUT. But, instead, I very calmly collected my shoes and left the room. I heard Bonnie yell out after me. I knew I'd have to see her later anyway, because she lived on the other side of Adelaide, the only way she'd be getting back home is if my mum took her, or if she could somehow get enough money for the bus. But all her stuff was still at my house anyway. So I stopped and waited for her to come running after me to explain shit that I didn't even want to hear at that point in time. Dylan didn't even bother calling out to me at all, which I think pissed me off even more.
oh and Jade just told me over msn to type that Jade says hi
see, not a lie
Jade Jiang says
8'|
Angie Angie
you done typign yet
tell your blog I said hi
Angie aka Michi Queen says
lol ok I will
no I'm not done yet
Ok back to my story. Which is getting really quite long.(kudos if you've read all of this so far)
Ahh... I guess, long story short, I got angry at both of them, but they kept apologising heaps, and I forgave both of them and stayed with Dylan still. But never trusted them to be alone ever again ever.
We did eventually end up breaking up when Dylan decided to cheat on me with a guy.
I never really told him we broke up either.
After Dylan told me about what happened at Luke's party, I just kind of forgave him and said that stuff happens at parties, it can't be helped. But on the inside I was filling with rage. I used to hide my feelings a lot, if you haven't picked up on that. I still do it now, but not as well as I used too.
We did the usual making out and hugging/touching ect
but after he left that night I decided I would never talk to him ever again.
And I pretty much stuck to that.
Every time Dylan tried to come and sit with us me and my friend Steve would throw stuff at him til he went away, which worked pretty well.
I don't even really want to explain my third relationship, mostly due to the fact that there is a slight possibility the guy might read it, also cuz this post is massive as is... but I'll do it anyway and keep things short.. maybe
e_e;
In my first year of studying animation at College I met this guy named Shaun. He was sweet, and reminded me of Dylan, all the good things about Dylan... and he kind of also resembled another guy that I had been crushing on the year before.. I can't even remember this guys name anymore, which is ridiculous, because for about 8 months I had decided he was the most amazing person to ever walk the earth. Oh wait, I remember now, his name was Faylin (ok come on, that's a hard name to remember and it's nearly 4 am).
Anyhow, I went to a great deal of effort to get to know Shaun, I started listening to music that he was interested in, I even found my old mp3 player, deleted all the songs on it and asked him to put some of his favourite songs on it instead. He also used to love playing this game called Touhou, so I started trying to learn stuff about it, and draw him pictures for it.
I kept hinting to him about how much I liked him.
Like I'd ask what sort of girl he'd be looking for, he'd reply something like "Somebody who's interested in video games and anime." So I'd point out that I was both of those things.
After about a week of this, he still hadn't got the hint so I just asked him out myself. Of course I decided to do it when I was feeling really sick, and waiting for the bus. So after I asked him out I got on the bus and didn't have to worry about awkward conversation.
I felt better when I got home and had some food, and then I told my whole family about my triumphant capture of Shaun. They weren't as impressed with me as I was.
Months passed, we still hadn't kissed, or really hugged or anything. I tried but Shaun didn't seem to like me touching him. He'd pull away, tell me I was in his way when he was playing video games, or basically just ignore me the entire time I was visiting him.
He didn't even really like talking about sex or anything.
Looking back I'm pretty sure he has some sort of form of autism.
Yeah, well basically that relationship dyed because I was the only one doing any work towards getting closer to each other. It was like trying to date a brick wall sometimes.
Though just after I had decided to break up with him he has started doing some really sweet stuff, like lending me his jumper in the rain, and taking me out for ice cream, he even went for a walk with me down to the botanical gardens in town at one point. I almost felt bad that I was going to dump him just as he seemed to be trying harder. But the pent up rage had built, and there was no turning it off. It was too late for him to change now. Though if he keeps that sort of behavior up, I'm sure he'd make some girl very happy one day.
I'd slept over his house one night, and the next morning we took a walk down to the jetty. On the way he'd even bought me some soda, which just made it all that much harder. I felt so guilty holding that soda while I talked to him.
After I told him that I wanted to break it off, he cried for what seemed like forever. And I just sat there holding my can of soda and feeling kind of pathetic. I had no idea what to do, how do you comfort somebody when you're the one that upset them? I ended up hugging him occasionally, and after he calmed down we walked back to his house.
I still feel bad about that whole relationship. In the end I feel like I was more to blame than I thought I was at the time. I was expecting Shaun to be somebody he wasn't. Which I shouldn't have done.
In the end I've learned a few things about dating.
- Don't date girls, they're too confusing, and back stabbing
- My family won't accept anyone if I'm dating them
- Try to look at problems from both persons point of view, rather than just my own
- Don't touch guys when they're playing video games. It's serious shit yo
Yep I guess that about wraps it up
I'll end it now before your eyes start bleeding from a wall of text.
EDIT:- Jade's pointing out that the way I'm writing looks kinda like the blogs over on Hyperbole and a Half, and ok yeah, it probably does 8C
Because I just spent the last two days reading her blog non stop, and I'm easily influenced.
If I'm as funny as her though, then I can only imagine that I have blogging potential 8'|
Though I actually feel like this is a phase for me, that I might get over in a couple of days maybe
